Everything, everywhere, all at once won at the Oscars. No, today my post isn't on that movie. Even though I do agree with Michelle Yeoh. Don't let anybody tell you, you are past your prime.
Do I (or you) need to do EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE?
God gave me a second chance at life. However, it's not to rush out and do everything that I ever wanted like there's no tomorrow. It's actually the opposite.
Stop striving and scrambling, and start seeking the right things.
What are the right things you may ask?
At the end of eternity, when you die, it's just going to be YOU. You and the maker. Nobody else. There is nothing that you can hold onto that is lasting. Except for the Presence of GOD. - paraphrased from The Prayer that Changes Everything by Stormie Omartian.
What do you mean by lasting? Afterall, isn't the presence of God such an elusive thing? Actually not. It is the opposite. For me, He has been the most steadfast presence that has seen me through since DAY 1 of my diagosis.
So what does slowing down mean to me?
I only do things that mean something to me
Recently someone came to visit me and saw my paintings. Her comment was that I have no theme in my paintings. I have batik, flower and landscape themes. Her seemingly harmless suggestion was for me to create themes in my paintings. Like the one of mountains above. She suggested that I paint a few more variations of it. Well, I will only do that if it is something that brings me joy and not because I want to sell it.
Letting things unfold naturally...time for GOD
Everyday I learn more and more about my new self.
From inside and out...I'm being made anew. After the transplant, my skin and nails changed; new hair began to grow also. So as my physical body started to regenerate, so did my my inner self.
Instead of trying to control the outcome of things, I let God. I let things unfold and let God do the heavy lifting for me.
I soak in God's presence. That's the best and greatest thing I can do. I don't know how to explain it, but all other things and issues simply unfold because of it.
Let thy emotions come out to play ... Painting WITH GOD
I'm sure you have been told not to hold your emotions in. However, many of us do just that. We put on a mask to face the world around us.
Are you good at hiding your pain?
Having leukemia has taught me to be more real with myself, to embrace myself, flaws included.
There was one particular day where my painting wasn't going to how I wanted it to go...and I got really angry. I was angry at my situation, being sick, having to be very careful who I meet or expose myself to, having to restrict my diet and so on.
I decided to express that rage onto the canvas. See painting above.
I found out the true meaning of painting your heart out. It felt really good lashing out vindictively on the canvas. I even had wolverine like strikes! The result? An artistic breakthrough of sorts for me. I normally do not paint in this style.
This (the above) is what happens when I am in the moment, happy, listening to praise and worship songs and honouring God while painting. I had a reference photo that had a sunset look but somehow in my enthusiasm and being caught up in the moment, I forgot to paint the sunset in. Oh well. Another painting for another day!
The result I'm trying to tell you is JOY. Be happy in the small moments of life. Be happy spending time with those you want to spend it with. Not because of some end result that you need to get, but just because. Be authentic and be you. But don't be a pain. Haha!